By Natalie Irons, Associate Director, Instructional Coaching Programs
Coaching Partnerships Blog
At a planning meeting for a professional development session on trauma sensitivity, a contributor speculated that being ‘sensitive’, particularly around trauma, is not about being cautious as a leader, as when we are afraid of hurting someone further, or saying the wrong thing. Being trauma sensitive might be more of a balance between being aware of and supporting someone else, while also being protective of one’s own self. “It’s not a one-way street” this person concluded. As coaches and leaders, we can direct our attention to both ourselves and to the person in front of us when there’s reactivity happening, like an outburst at a meeting from an upset group member.
I remember an assistant principal would distinguish being “reactive” from being “responsive” which helped me become more aware of how I perceived the happenings around me on a school campus. Trauma, which is not what happens to us, but an “imprint left by that experience on mind, brain and body” as defined in The Body Keeps the Score (Kolk, pg. 21), results in the distinct ways our brain reorganizes our perceptions, how we think, what we think about and even our capacity to think. Some of the reactivity we witness is that imprint of the past being brought into the present.
Whether I am on the receiving end of someone’s reactivity or feeling the reactivity within myself, I am most supportive of myself and others by taking a pause, to breathe, to get a glass a water, to move my body. Then I can be curious about what’s happening within myself and others in the moment to best serve us all.
What are some of the noticings you have when you and/or others are activated? What are some things that help you stay curious and/or aware of the moment?
Please contact Natalie Irons, irons@gseis.ucla.edu, if you’d like to join a free, online “Coaches Chat” on the first and third Thursdays each month at 3pm PST.